By processing our life experiences, our brains automatically create stories. In case these subconscious narratives develop negative thinking, they could instill fear, self-doubt, and worry. However, you should not be worrying as experts recommend ways that make it easy to rewrite your inner script and feel more hopeful and confident.
Simple instances such as walking around a park on a beautiful spring day and you come across an old couple strolling by and holding their hands. It can touch you and bring a smile to your face but that expression could quickly fade away. Negative thoughts could come to your mind and you might think that it can never happen to you after a difficult divorce you had in the past. But that is a false narrative threatening to write off future joy. You can get rid of such negative thoughts coming to your mind by following the 4 easy ways discussed below:
Do You Feel Being Unworthy? – Time to Silence Your Critical Narrator
You might have volunteered for years at an animal shelter and suddenly asked to plan a fundraiser. However, you feel doing so can expose you and prove that you are incompetent. If you develop such a feeling of being unworthy, it’s time to remind yourself of being in great company. One effective way of dealing with this is checking out how other women have been dealing with imposter syndrome. It is a syndrome where women often believe that they are fraud.
Instead of feeling like a failure when having self-doubts, women should be telling their critical narrator and facing it boldly. Speak out and tell that you are moving ahead despite being bogged down with thoughts creeping your mind.
Do you Often Wonder About What Will Happen Next? – Time to Look at The Future Self
With the fear of a layoff, you become anxious about what will happen in the future. If you consider a movie, your hero comes across challenges and we root for them to grow. However, when we are in the same scenario in real life, we hardly apply that lens. Many women would downplay our growth and overestimate obstacles.
To deal with this, take a pen and paper and write 8-10 sentences that summarize your current chapter. Give it a heading such as “A New Beginning” and move ahead to read the remaining story. Answer the question about how you would like your life to be like. Instead of answering in the 1st person, start with She. Doing so will allow you to be more compassionate with yourself. You may write, She gives more time to herself. If you picture your future, it will help in seeing each chapter as a part of a larger narrative and combat negative thinking. Individual setbacks won’t define you as you are continuously writing your story.
Have a Feeling of Being Invisible? – Time to Rediscover Your Purpose
There are times when you have a feeling of being lonely and invisible. We often lose sight of our narrative if we do not feel seen. If you discover the plot or purpose of your story, you will feel a lot happier and connected. You can go ahead and jot down five questions:
- What is my Name? (Although simple, writing it can instantly ground you)
- What are the things I love doing? (Avoid mentioning a task, but answer in terms of how you make people feel)
- Who do I do that for? What do they expect from me?
- How do they react based on what I do?
Answering the above questions moving from you to others lets you see the impact you make on the world around you. The writing exercise here can ease loneliness and connect you with other women and purpose.
Are You Regretting Something? – Time to Uncover Redemption
Looking back on the way your life has unfolded, you often regret a few steps that you could have taken. Thinking of them being self-fulfilling prophecies such as I would never succeed or I won’t find love or any other negative thoughts could contaminate the future. But looking back and finding silver linings can become redemptive narratives and boost your confidence. It also restores faith in yourself.
It’s better to relegate regret to the margins of your store by rewriting the past. You should be asking yourself if there is any meaning you could mine from such events. Go through them quickly for a couple of minutes a day as thinking more about your past triggers rumination and stress.
Multiple researchers have proved that this type of expressive writing to be effective by using cognitive process words showing that we are reinterpreting an event in a new way like as I understand, I realize or I think. Such efforts facilitate creating a reevaluation narrative that can be analyzed rationally. After gaining some distance and perspective, it would be easier to find the meaning in each chapter and writing the next one. Women will be more confident about being the true author of your own story.
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